In the past year, and since Michael has re-enlisted I have made some discoveries about myself!

1. While I’d like to pretend this isn’t true, I CAN do yard work!

2. Believe it or not, I’m capable of using a electric drill and actually fix things all on my own.

3. I’m not as bad a cook as I used to assume I was but I realized I still hate cooking just as much as before.

4. Friends aren’t about quantity, but quality! True friends are hard to find, and when you do–hold on to them!

5. Going on medication does NOT mean you are crazy-it means that you accept that you need help and are doing what it takes to get it.

6. Motherhood, while stressful, really is the most amazing job I could ever do.

and finally,

7. Finding ways to enrich the Military Wife community has brought me such fulfillment. Each day has offered up a new chance to help other wives in whatever way I can through MWC! I am so excited to see what the future has in store for the site…and for me…

In “I Love A Man in Uniform: A Memoir of Love, War, and Other Battles“, Lily Burana tells the tale of going from a punk rock stripper slash Playboy model to becoming an Army Officer’s wife.

Lily immediately pulls you in to her story with her hardcore honesty of living the life of a Military wife during modern day times at war. The book is written with a candidness that is hard to find, yet with enough humor to forget that she might actually be teaching you something.

The author admits to not being the “Perfect Army Wife”, whom we all tend to either abhor or admire! My opinion is that Lily represents the Realistic Military Wife. We all come from different backgrounds with different pasts, and no matter whether we are an amateur or experienced in the ways of the Military life,  we share a connection that most people will never truly understand.

While I personally recommend this book to just about anyone (and cannot find a single negative thing to say about it), the “straight-laced” Military wife may not be amused by the author’s fearless honesty. She offers the “no holds barred” approach to the military lifestyle.

I Love A Man in Uniform truly is a work of art that I place not only number one in my Military Wife titles, but also is right up there with my favored novels, regardless of subject.

Okay, so let’s just be honest; most A LOT of Military wives are catty bitches! I’m not going to sugar coat it–it’s the truth! I think it is because we are such a close knit community that we become like family–and well, family affairs can get pretty ugly sometimes! We are a group of women from very different backgrounds, with a lot of different interests. So throwing us all in a very tight space can tend to bring out the worst.

I would like to think that I can keep myself from falling into this category. I’m the type of person who tends not to judge and forgives super easily, sometimes to a fault. Even so, I’ve managed to already make an “enemy” here on the island.

I don’t want to take the time to explain the details, because honestly I still don’t understand it all myself. So this particular Military wife “un-friended” me and blocked me from being involved in a certain local group’s events. While we weren’t exactly meant to be the closest of friends in the first place, I was mainly irritated at the fact she would delete me from a group that I could have possibly used to make some good friends.

So only a few months into our new post I experienced the “Army wife drama”. Recently I received a request to re-friend her, and while that catty side of me wants to be like “Hell No!”, the forgiving side wants to just let the past be the past.

Have you experienced the drama of making friends as a Military wife? Share your thoughts and experiences below!

“If you judge people, you have no time to love them.“
- Mother Teresa

Lately it seems that I continue to read more and more about people romanticizing the Military life, especially deployments. My reply to this is “WHAT?“

My problem is with the people who choose to believe, that in becoming a member of the military family, they are going to be living the “perfect” or Fairy Tale life. I can admit that in the past, while my husband and I were dating, I even had these thoughts. The excitement of travel to unseen places and the “romantic” homecomings seemed so wonderful. The issue is that people forget the realities of what they are going to be facing.

It is true that our reunions and homecomings may seem overly sweet. Of course there are lots of hugs, smiles, and tears! What people tend to forget is that we have spent months upon months apart from our loved ones. These months of separation due to deployments and missions are anything but romantic. We endure the pain of dealing with lack of communication & intimacy, becoming single parents, and the running of our households all on our own.

The typical military couple spends more time apart than we do together. Divorces within the military communities have continued to rise since the attacks on September 11th, 2001.

Do not get me wrong, I am not criticizing living the military life.
I, myself, love my life. I can honestly say that my husband’s choice to re-enlist was one of the best things that could have ever happened to our marriage and family. While there may be issues, this lifestyle suits us; BUT it is not for everyone!

I seriously feel the need to vent right now more than I have in a long time.

There is this girl, (let’s call her “Lily“, who is married to Michael’s ex-best friend, (let’s call him “Tyler“. They served together in the Marine Corps. Now, mind you-they would probably still be friends if it wasn’t for this horrible woman. The only way I can think to explain Lily is that she really is the perfect example of the “Stepford Wife”. She is the most controlling, perfectionist woman bitch I know!

So while they were in Afghanistan she somehow managed to spend every bit of money they had. Michael loaned them $5,000 right after they got back to help buy a car. He wasn’t married (or engaged) at the time, and didn’t have a child to spend the money on-and they did. So he helped them out.

A month later-Michael comes home, proposes, and I left to go back to Hawaii with him. We stayed with Tyler & Lily for the first 3 weeks as planned-and then I couldn’t take it anymore. I could not take her perfectionism and the way she acted, So we stayed with another couple after the wedding for the remainder of the time I was in Hawaii, which was a little over 2 months longer. When we first got to Hawaii Tyler took $500 out of the money Michael had loaned him to pay for a junker car for us to use while I was there. So they still owed him/us another $4,500. They had agreed that Tyler would pay Michael back the rest of the money when he got his re-enlistment bonus.

This was only supposed to be about 9 months away…which turned into 18 months…which turned into, well, Never! We would write and bring it up occasionally in the beginning and it was explained away. Well approximately a year ago I emailed them on two different email accounts and sent the same message on MySpace. The original message was read & ignored! I was very upset because by this time it had been two years since the money was loaned to them -and Michael and I really needed the money. He was laid off–and we had a brand new baby. I sent a second message-still “proper” but probably slightly more hateful. Again this message was read (you can tell on MySpace) and no response was given.

Michael is the type to try to avoid confrontation and wanted to let it drop! So while it has eaten away that they could take such advantage of my husband-I have dropped the subject. In this past 3+ years we know that he has finished his training for his new MOS (which means received partial or all of his bonus), as well as deployed and returned from Iraq. They have had yet another child–and bought a house!

Tonight-Lily added me on Facebook. Soon afterward she sent me a message on the Facebook instant messenger. She was very “blah” in the conversation but basically never acknowledged the fact of the wrong they’ve done us. She spoke shortly with me and then said she needed to go. Later I returned to Facebook and realized she took me off of her friends list.

I just do not understand how somebody can be so selfish. I never understood the phrase “makes my blood boil” until I met this woman. She is literally the one person in this world that I cannot stand. The sad part is that Tyler is a good guy-and she just walks all over him…
All she cares about is having her perfect life.

I’m sad…and angry…

In a way, we military wives tend to be a bit like recruiters. We have seen the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to living the military lifestyle. We know what its like to deal with paperwork screw-ups, frequent moves, and constantly having to readjust our lives to keep up with the military. Yet, even with all the bad we are still there encouraging our fellow mil-spouses to keep our strength and to “enlist” in the lifestyle.

I know that I personally feel this way. Lately I feel I haven’t been as supportive as I could be. The Army has us doing the “hurry up and wait” routine and it is getting frustrating. We have yet to receive orders–even though Michael has been done with training for his new MOS for 5 weeks. We have had to be seperated by 900 miles for over an extra month because they can’t get our paperwork processed.
I am trying to stay upbeat-but it is difficult sometimes.

Well–not too much longer. We’re getting so close–so of course there is more stress. I move all of our stuff from the apartment to a storage building a week from today–then I get to live with my parents for a couple of weeks-not too much looking forward to that too much. I like having my own space, my own stuff.

I’m trying to get everything packed up for the move. He got contacted by his sponsor yesterday-and it looks like we’re going to end up at Schofield Barracks instead of Fort Shafter. I kind of wish we were going to be at Fort Shafter still–at least the housing would’ve been much faster. We’ll figure it out somehow.

Whatever..just a couple weeks and I get to be with my husband again. That makes it all better…

Well-Michael left today for the field. So no talking to the hubby until Friday. So that sucks-but I guess the positive spin on it is that it means we are almost done with training and can get on with our lives.

In good news though– I GOT MY NEW PHONE!! Thank goodness! I didn’t think I could take another day of a crappy phone.

I have always been a major pack-rat…I keep stuff I should’ve gotten rid of a long time ago; clothes/shoes I know I’ll never wear again, notes from highschool, textbooks from college that I will never use & even the stores won’t buy back…just so much random crap that just sits in boxes for no particular reason other than the fact that I can’t bare to let loose of it.
Over the past 6 months though I have gotten rid of so much stuff. I had to move without Michael and I just started throwing stuff away. Now in the last few weeks I have been at it again–going through and getting rid of stuff again. I’ve thrown some stuff away-and sold some stuff online. It’s like I’m trying to declutter my life–which I’m sure is a good thing-but then again, what if I regret it later?

I feel like a complete wreck. Its so stupid but I feel like all I have been doing is breaking down the last few days. I keep going from being really angry to crying like a big baby. Kincaid fell asleep early tonight so I climbed in the tub to take a nice hot bubble bath–read a book–and try to relax. Instead I end up bawling…I tend to do my best (??) crying in the bathtub. Not quite sure why-but its so true. Then of course I almost got out with only one shaved leg. *sigh*

I miss my husband…that’s all…